Hey Mom

Hey, Mom
Did you expect everything I’ve done to happen?
Are you disappointed at the way I've become?
Do you ever wonder the effect you have on me?
Did it ever cross your mind that our relationship is… well complicated?
I’m sure you think about it from time to time.
I know I do.
I know that we fight a lot, and things don't seem to go right.
And there are times we give each other the silent treatment and don’t talk or apologize.
There are times where maybe even the neighbors can hear us yelling at each other.
You say I always fight against you, and it's probably true, but so do you.
Do we always have to fight?
It's crazy you know?
Arguments about how I dress, how I don’t want to do things, the way I act.
Why do we fight about the way I am, when you told me to never be sorry for who I am.
And trying to set you straight is such a pain,
I'd rather not come home to a stressed out mom who needs to let off some stream.
Why place the blame on me? Isn't that what your program is for?
I’ve learned from you that sometimes you gotta keep your mouth shut.
Sometimes being yourself only causes problems.
But mostly feelings are discussed only at home,
No one needs to see what's behind closed doors.
But maybe we need to express our feelings somewhere else,
Because I'm tired of the bad vibe there is in the bedroom.
What the hardest of all is our beliefs, our different views of how my life is going to turn out.
I'd rather not work in the hospital like you want, I don't plan to wear dresses and heels.
Giving you some grandchildren is not my job, and marriage is a commitment I don't think I can stick to.
God is your one and only savior, and apparently, I should believe in him like you do.
I'm not saying I deny god's existence, I know he's there,
But maybe I have trouble with my faith cause of the things I feel.
Maybe it's hard to believe in a magic man in the sky because it just doesn't make sense,
And it's annoying to have you question my faith after watching movies about fake gods and angels.
It's time to marry man you say. I don't know about that, is this your ideal of life? Just to find a man?
I don't want to spend my days waiting at home so I can give my husband a home cooked meal.
To have his child, I'd rather not, Motherhood is hard and I'm not prepared.
You didn't know how to be a mom and looked how I turned out.
I see your view and already I know, I'll stray far from your expectations.
I'm not trying to be a rebellious child, I just have a different view.
But I still thank you, your idea of life influenced to be different,
Maybe you might not be pleased, but I will.
The way you influence me has shaped me, I know what I'm going to do in life.
I know what I believe in, I know what I'm going to fight for.
And I know I'm going to break every bad stereotype you have of me because I will be different.
You've given me the courage to be myself even if no one, even you, like it.
Your expectations of me, they bring a burden, as much as I want to make you proud,
I won't be the common people pleaser. I still thank you for them because I know what to stand up for.
You've taught me to do what I want. To be what I want to be, that no one can tell me how to live my life.
I know how to get through the burdens life brings, for you've told me, you've prepared me.
And when the time comes, hopefully with your lectures, I'll be ready.
I also appreciate that when you're not telling me how you'd like my life to be,
You tell me to be better, to never stop at just average. To always push myself and break limits.
How you tell me to appreciate the beauty of life and focus on the blessings it brings.
How to never give up and always get back up when I fall, to find myself,
to find out who I am and just be that person,
If you're happy with yourself who care what others think.
I love the inspirations you give me to be who I am today,
I take them to heart and really try to put them in my life.
So even though our relationship is filled with arguments, I think your amazing cause you're my mom.
Just cause we don't get along is no reason for us to push each other out.
I'm always here no matter what, when I grow up to be what I am I want you to know it was because of you.
I promise you I'm going to be a success with a happy life I'm not going to disappoint you so badly.
I'm going to make you proud and show you that I am strong, determined, and a intelligent person,
With a kind heart and a caring soul within me, in the end you’ve raised me well,
Besides, behind your upsetting yells is you telling me to soar and live life
You're going to be a huge part in my future, because you'll remind me to do what I want.
You have trained me to be strong willed, independent and always to always do good will.
I know that I'll be different from you, in the end, that's a good thing.
I know you don't want me to just follow your example, you want me to do better.
Maybe along the years our relationship will be better, but for the meantime remember
I love you, and this time I promise I won’t let you down.